Living on the Edge of a Volcano

Apparently, I am living on the edge of a volcano.

At least that's what the authors of The 8 Seasons of Parenthood: How the Stages of Parenting Constantly Reshape Our Adult Identities believe. It all started when my son turned 10 five years ago, and I won't find my way back to stable ground until my youngest child leaves home - which should be in about eight years.

I picked this book off our piano teacher's bookshelf during my kids' piano lessons yesterday and gave it a quick browse.

The book gives a summary of all the seasons of parenthood, from expecting your first child, the preschool years, the schoolage years, the teenage (aka edge of the volano) era, then the empty nest and the grandparent years.

It gives lots of examples and personalized stories of what other parents have experienced. And it talks about how parents view themselves differently as their children move through these stages. For instance, as a parent of teenagers, I'm being forced to question my own identity. If I had relied on my children to provide any of my sense of self-worth, forget it. They're trampling all over it right now. And, as far as that goes, the authors are pretty much bang on.

I didn't read the whole thing, but it seems to provide a comprehensive overview of how your view of yourself changes over time. It doesn't provide a lot of help in how to deal with these changes, from what I read, but it does tell you what you can expect. And the other parents' stories will remind you that you're not alone - even if you'll be on the edge of that volcano for the next eight years.